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I had a really unsettling dream just now.
2045, I’m still happily married, I’ve published several books, Geo and I have a musically talanted adult son.
Problem is, I have no memories of the past 30 years.
My husband and our son do not get along and I have no clue why.
The “kid” is very distant and though not impolite he doesn’t really listen when I talk.
Plus he is a stranger to me, I don’t have any memories of his childhood, I don’t know his favorite food or film. I donot know when he took his first steps or what his first word was.
My husband and our son do not get along and I have no clue why.
The “kid” is very distant and though not impolite he doesn’t really listen when I talk.
Plus he is a stranger to me, I don’t have any memories of his childhood, I don’t know his favorite food or film. I donot know when he took his first steps or what his first word was.
I know I love him, but that is all, I can’t even recall his name now.
I tried to tell my husband and he was just sighing and acting like he heard me worry about this same thing hundreds of times.
“It will come back to you, here are some photos…”
I tried to pretend to remember things when neighbours and family talked with me, by nodding and smiling, but it was difficult and exhausting.
And I felt so guilty for forgetting so many incredlibly important things and relationships.
And I felt so guilty for forgetting so many incredlibly important things and relationships.
I cried in secret. I prayed it was all a dream.
And it was, and I woke up in my own time in my current life.
Alzheimers runs in my family, it is one of my greatest fears.
And this nightmare felt so real that a part of me wonders if maybe in some dimension it is all really happening, and me being awake here and now is really only part of my delusion… A strange memory, half true, nostalgic, half dream.
Mmmkay, going back to bed. It’s 2:38 am.
Indefinite DA Break
You can still reach me through the links below.
Thank you for your support :heart:
Facebook: facebook.com/MajaSukeile
Twitter: twitter.com/Sukeile
Instagram: instagram.com/sukeile
Not completely gone yet. But might as well be.
I have very little energy, focusing it on work.
Will be back eventually, probably, sorry for not being a good watcher/friend.
I still love you, I just don't have the energy to express it. <3
Year End Journal! Woo!
2015, What a year!
Though it's been very stressful to take up so many new responsibilities with work, owning a house and caring for our two crazy dogs ( one of which is a full-energy puppy! ) the efforts have really paid off in all areas.
We will be at even more conventions next year; On the list are USA, France, England and of course here in Sweden too!
Specifics to follow, closer to the actual dates, It's truly exciting though!
Not that this year didn't have it's bad parts, as I mentioned before it has been quite stressful.
And when part of my family cut me out of their lives, for reasons I will never fully understand, I can not deny my
I made a youtube thing
Blerp!
© 2015 - 2024 Sukeile
Comments2
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That's intense, Alzheimers is a sad and scary thing, it runs in my husband's family too. I know eating right before bed gives me really intense, and sometimes scary dreams, maybe avoid that if you ate late last night? (Being pregnant also sometimes results in crazy dreams later on...) I hope you can get some restful sleep with more pleasant dreams!