Memory of my dream

2 min read

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Sukeile's avatar
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I had a really unsettling dream just now.
2045, I’m still happily married, I’ve published several books, Geo and I have a musically talanted adult son.

Problem is, I have no memories of the past 30 years.


My husband and our son do not get along and I have no clue why.


The “kid” is very distant and though not impolite he doesn’t really listen when I talk.

Plus he is a stranger to me, I don’t have any memories of his childhood, I don’t know his favorite food or film. I donot know when he took his first steps or what his first word was.

I know I love him, but that is all, I can’t even recall his name now.
I tried to tell my husband and he was just sighing and acting like he heard me worry about this same thing hundreds of times.
“It will come back to you, here are some photos…”

I tried to pretend to remember things when neighbours and family talked with me, by nodding and smiling, but it was difficult and exhausting.
And I felt so guilty for forgetting so many incredlibly important things and relationships.

I cried in secret. I prayed it was all a dream.

And it was, and I woke up in my own time in my current life.

Alzheimers runs in my family, it is one of my greatest fears.

And this nightmare felt so real that a part of me wonders if maybe in some dimension it is all really happening, and me being awake here and now is really only part of my delusion… A strange memory, half true, nostalgic, half dream.

Mmmkay, going back to bed. It’s 2:38 am.

© 2015 - 2024 Sukeile
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shawnerussell's avatar
That's intense, Alzheimers is a sad and scary thing, it runs in my husband's family too. I know eating right before bed gives me really intense, and sometimes scary dreams, maybe avoid that if you ate late last night? (Being pregnant also sometimes results in crazy dreams later on...) I hope you can get some restful sleep with more pleasant dreams!